


And I promise I'll be there

by flyingisabetterwordforfalling (FlyingFalling)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Best Friends, Bisexual Character(s), Coming Out, Drama & Romance, Falling In Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gen, Growing Up Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, LGBTQ Character of Color, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, POV Poe Dameron, Pre-Poe Dameron/Finn, Sleepovers, Supportive Poe, Teen Crush, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 06:24:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8567632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyingFalling/pseuds/flyingisabetterwordforfalling
Summary: He had suspected it, had known and made fun of the only person who had treated him just like before after both of them had somehow told each other about their true identities.





	

  
The two teenagers have been playing so many games for the last few hours, neither of them knows or cares who is actually winning or losing by now, even though they laughingly threaten each other to push the loser off the bed. On which they have been laying for as long as they have been playing, just like almost every other Friday evening, it has simply become their little tradition.  
  
  
Poe watches his friend from the side, watches as wavy hair gets tucked back with an annoyed huff, yet some small strands of hair are still untameable, and he flops back onto his side and smiles, all too used to that scenario. Reaches out and lets his hand fall before it touches his friend's head. What is he doing, startled by his own thoughts and even more his actions he reaches a little too fast for one of the drinks on his bedside cabinet. They have talked about it, Finn hates that, hair has always been a sensitive subject. Dark eyes look up, when he almost manages to knock over the cup,  meet his and he hastily picks up his controller again. Feeling ashamed. Thus, Poe pretends not to notice the curious gleam in the other's eyes.  
  
  
He made a fool of himself, is even more upset because he is certain he can almost feel that his friend does not seem all too happy to be here at all.  
  
  
"Poe...?"     
  
  
He hears after a while, which he spent with staring at the screen without actually seeing anything at all. His thoughts are scattered all over the place, as they always seem to have been when his friend is around, still for some time now, even when she is not.  
  
  
"Finn?"  
  
  
He grins at her, puzzled by the uncertain and almost even uneasy tone. Still, when he calls her by her nickname Finninee smiles.  
  
  
"Would you- Would you still like me if-"  
  
  
Well, now he is certainly worried. His friend has always been a little shy around him, but she had never looked that pained. The controller in both of their hands are forgotten and so is the background music of the game they were playing only moments before. Without knowing or having the faintest idea of what she is going to say Poe just knows it is going to be something she must have been thinking about for a long time. It has to be important.  
Somehow he just wants to hug her, tell her everything is going to be okay, but all the same he doubts that is going to calm her down.  
  
  
He nods, to signal he is listening and waits for her to continue talking.  
  
  
"Would you still like me if I were like you? Not just some days, but always, because I think-"  
  
  
Finn finally mumbles and Poe does not really know what to make of it. Like him?  
  
  
"Incredibly good looking?"  
  
  
He interrupts in an attempt to joke, and even more so to ease the tension, and Finn just looks somewhat broken, as if she wants to jump up, toss the controller at his head and run home, in the middle of the night to not have to have this conversation.  
  
  
"Sorry, I mean... what?"  
  
  
With that said, Poe wants nothing more than to slap himself, he wants to show support; that he will be there however this dialogue is going to end and then he says something like that. By now he is slightly panicking, not due to her words, but her expression. She looks as if she does not trust him to take her seriously at all, even though they are best friends.  
  
  
With that she actually gets up and Poe is too scared to try to make her stay, even if he could he would not even try to do so. Finn is her own person and despite her being upset for whatever reason he has no right to make her stay. His mind is racing, imagining every possible outcome of the sentence she might have said. She had implied she was like him.  
  
  
For years they have been talking about all the things they were sure were not meant for others to hear, not because they could not talk to them, but because they wanted to keep these things between the two of them.  
  
  
Thus, Poe knew Finninee had always been more of a tomboy than any other girl he knew, one time, he had asked her if she was gay. Simply because every other teen had been talking about it and he had simply wanted to show her, that if she was he would not mind, because she would still be his best friend, the same person he loved ever since they had been children.  
  
  
She had blushed, when he had tried to ask her as politely as he could, without being too rude because he still felt it was a question too intimate to actually ask out loud. Even though she was his best friend he had thought it was none of his business, despite straight people did not have to come out so why should she.  
When he did ask during one of their sleepovers, she had cried, nodding and shaking her head until he had finally tossed his controller into her lap and asked her if she wanted to play another round, because he would not lose to her, again.     
  
  
"Being bi is not a shameful thing to be, Finn. At least I'm not ashamed of it."  
  
  
It had not been his intention to come out then, still, she would have realized that he fell for people regardless of pronouns.  
  
  
Despite that, Poe was still a teenager himself. He knew, despite being open on the Internet, around strangers, most people were horrified to say straight forward that they were... indeed not straight at all. He was one of them and believed coming out was something society expected all these people to do.  
  
  
Suddenly he realized what he had been suspecting for so long, stumbled out of bed, went almost flying down the stairs and just ran after his best friend, who within minutes had managed to grab their stuff and had already left the house. Poe did not care that he was already wearing his pyjamas, consisting of sweatpants and the shirt Finn had given him for his seventeenth birthday, he just tried to keep up.  
  
  
He had suspected it, had known and made fun of the only person who had treated him just like before after both of them had somehow told each other about their true identities.  
  
  
And now Finn had wanted to tell him the last part, they had not actually spoken about. There had been hints, clues. Of course there had been all these little details. Finn had never been a tomboy. Finn had been a boy, just like him, just like Poe.  
  
  
After coming out as genderqueer he had still never seemed as if that was what he really felt. Not that being genderqueer meant you had to choose to be one thing or another or anything at all. Poe himself did not care, most days, if he was male or not. And yet it was the identity most fitting for himself. He had been so used to switching pronouns when talking to or about his best friend and Finn had told him today was one of their days, where they felt to be more female than male and wanted to be referred to as such.    
  
  
While still running he tipped a message to Finn, telling them he would use he and him and his and only these, if they made him happy and relief washed over him, when Finn told him he had actually never left his house. Had rushed into the bathroom, grabbing his bag pack to get to take out his binder and change. Even though he would take it off eventually once he would go to sleep.  
  
  
A little dazed Poe gets back into the house, feeling a little stupid for having run out into the garden and then standing there for some time, looking around as if he expected Finn to jump down from one of the trees he might sulkily have climbed up -if would not be the first time.  
  
  
"You're a drama queen, Dameron."  
  
  
Finn tells him, when gets up from where he is sitting at the top of the stairs to come down to where his best friend is standing.  
  
  
"I panicked, okay? But you seemed to panic as well. My family still thinks me finding my gender is a phase, that I'll grow out of it and one day settle down with a wealthy man to start a family.", Finn tells him with a stiff smile, things Poe has known for so long, then his voice gets slightly uncertain again, "You'll still be my friend even when I actually do transition some day?"  
  
  
Poe waits for him to get back into his room again before he closes his door behind them. Breathing shakily out while he does so. His parents are asleep by now and not even the two of them playing video games can get them up, despite that he would not want do stress it. His mother hates it if someone interrupts her sleeping pattern, mainly because she has to get up in the middle of the night -oh, that must have been his mum then and not Finn.  
  
  
"Then we'll be your family, my folks, Rey and myself. Come on, I'll still like you even when you go bald from all that testosterone you'll get eventually. Maybe you'll even grow a few inches..."  
  
  
He grins and now does duck out of the way, when Finn tries to lightly hit him with his bag. They are both trying to hide stifled laughs, Finn even pressing one of his hands over his mouth which makes him look rather adorable. He says it out loud, before he can stop himself because apparently Poe Dameron does not have a brain to mouth filter when he is tired. Honestly, does he ever -for once he does not want to think further about what the answer to that question might be.  
  
  
"Shut up. That's gay."  
  
  
Finn is now giggling, still his words are filled with warmth and a fondness he only ever uses to address Poe with.

  
"You're gay."

  
"Only for you, my dearest friend, only for you."

   
"Really?"

  
"Of course not, you'll never be my type, so overly _you_."

 

  
Years later, they both know he actually is, when Poe holds his hand after the other man wakes up after his top surgery and then he tells the still drowsy Finn that he is the most handsome man he has ever seen, even with bandages all over his chest. Never mind the small fact, the two of them have been dating by then for a few years and have witnessed Finn's first testosterone shot, as well as his second puberty and so many other things unrelated to his transition together. After all, it is merely the beginning, their beginning.      
  
  
 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like this, and enjoyed reading this story. By the way, kudos to the person who finds (or found) a certain quote from one of my favourite songs.


End file.
